Fishing Guides
O.K. you can stop calling us now.
It wasnt us.
By now most of you have heard that the big winner in the 27 state Powerball lottery bought their ticket in tiny Jacksonville Oregon.
Our hometown.
The population of Jacksonville is approximately 3000 people so I can see how friends and relatives immediately assumed that our household was now trying to deal with the heavy burden of how to disperse the roughly $100 million (after taxes) back into the economy. The arduous task of determining which relatives would be rewarded for laughing at my non sensical jokes over the years would certainly be made easier by having some friendly reminder phone calls which would put them at the top of my mind.
My motherinlaw was more direct she just called and asked if WE were rich. Yes WE!!
Eric a good friend of mine from my softball teamcalled just to remind me that he LOVES ME MAN really LOVES ME.
Truth be told I dont normally play the lottery figuring that I have a better chance of being hit by a meteor falling from space or being eaten by a Shark. ON LAND!!
I have to admit thoughthat Wednesdaythe day of the lottery drawing I did wander into Rays Sentry Market in Jacksonville and after purchasing some dog biscuits heard the checkers up front hollering about $50 dollars of tickets they had just sold to someone for Powerball.
So I said better give me twenty dollars worth also.
Why not At least this is a voluntary tax that has a chance of giving back a healthy tax return.
I threw my numbers in my desk drawer at work.
The following morning I picked up the morning news and read that there was a winner and that the winner was indeed located somewhere in Oregon.
I arrived at work and still didnt rush into
checking the numbers.
Then my wife called and asked me if I had bought any Powerball tickets in Jacksonville.
Yep
They said the winner bought their ticket in Jacksonville. She informed me of this with a tone of gleeful anticipation that I havent detected in her voice since our twentys!!
The winning ticket came from Rays Market or the Jville Tavern.
I swear I wasnt in the tavern.
Did you say Rays I asked.
Yes.
Well now you have ME interested because I did purchase my tickets at Rays.
She then read me the numbers and I quickly returned to the underacheiving tavern dwelling fish loving deadbeat that I amas the enthusiasm disappeared from her voice faster than a pile a doughnuts at a Police station.
Just as well.
Most people that know me know I would just wind up squandering the money especially since I have made my intentions known that if I had won a good portion of the money would have gone towards employing out of work mimes and fishing guides.
Of coursenot at the same time.
So life goes on close but no cuban cigar. Just another day to sit and wonder what I would do and where I would go fishing if I had that kind of money and what kind of silly high tech waders I could buy.
Im better off not having that kind of money anyway.
But if I find out the guy who had the winning ticket was the person who bought those $50 dollars worth of tickets just ahead of me Im going to eat those dog biscuits myself!!
A.J. Klott
Author writer of fishing humorand fly tack peddler.A.J. writes about the peoplecharacters and modern day events that surround the fishing world. His first book is due out in December of 2005.
If you need a laugh or a fun gift visit his website at:
http://www.twoguyswithflys.com